Mondays are like a shrouded day in my week, I know I get up and start the day I know I get things done, but most of the time it feels more like an out of body experience. You see I suffer from metabolic syndrome, or insulin resistance or whatever you want to call it, but mainly I suffer from fatigue and loss of energy.
I am sure I am not the only mother out there to feel this way and I am also sure that not all mothers who feel like me suffer from some sort of medical condition; we all just had children and are trying to raise them to the best of our abilities.
What I do miss is the person I remember being, the one always in a good mood, the one who always had a plan, the one who was always ready to go and try things. I am sure that I will recover some of this person if I remember to eat often and take my pills; which I forget to do mainly; that is the eating part off course, taking meds is the easy part.
I look after my family well, I love my husband although sex seems to be too much of a mission; I adore my daughter, even if I can’t keep up with her most of the time. In general, I get work done, albeit at odd hours and not that much on Mondays.
You see Monday is the day that I cannot get started. I lie in bed and see myself and think is this me? Should I not be getting up and ready for the day? Why am I just lying there as if waiting for a sign to start the day? Are my batteries flat? If the weekend was especially taxing and I did not get to sleep enough then it is even worse. I go through the motions I get my child of to school, and myself off to some work mode; but it never seems to feel right.
I know the song “Tell me why I don’t like Monday’s” but this is not what I’m feeling, there is no emotion attached to Monday; I neither dread it nor look forward to it. I just want to get it over; not in a bad way, but because in my mind Tuesdays are better, I managed to overcome Monday, and the rest of the week will follow suit.
Mondays are like a small battle in my struggle for survival. I am glad I have a child and responsibilities, because if I was not forced to get up and on with it, I might just stay in bed for the day and not bother to get started. Then Tuesday might have become my next Nemesis…
As with everything in life, there is a beginning and an end to all things Mondays are a necessity as much as Sunday. It focusses our beings in a never-ending circle of eternity, the beads in a string of pearls, the measure within which we count our existence. The days stack to weeks, months, years, decades… a lifetime.
Although I know that I should seize the day and charge into the week full forces it always seems as though the universe conspire to stop me in my tracks and slow me down.
Mondays are in my life is a necessary evil, that I aim to get over as fast as possible.
