Nadia Thonnard – The quality of your parenting is as important after a divorce than it was before a separation.
I get a lot of comments in the likes of: “why can’t we choose the father/mother of our children?” The reality is, unlike some exceptional situations, you have chosen the other parent of your children. To decide after a while that you’ve made a mistake having children with that particular person is not good enough. Somewhere, you are telling your children that they are the mistake!
Rather look at it that, no matter the outcome, a miracle came out of your union. Children are a miracle. As parents, you have given life to another human being. This is magic. Your kids are magic and they wouldn’t be who they exactly are if it weren’t for you and their other parent.
Life circumstances throws challenges at us all the time. One of a family biggest challenges is when parents grow apart. It happens enough for us to start accepting that in some instances, some relationships must be allowed to end. But when we are parents, the relationship we have with our children doesn’t end, or anyway, it shouldn’t end!
Some parents chose to just give up on their kids. Unfortunately, children will have to accept that they had an irresponsible parent while other parents just show up, but showing up isn’t enough. You have to get it right. Parenting is not just about being there. It’s about being present, which is very different from being there.
Are you engaged in discussion?
Are you interested?
Are you having fun…yet?
When your children grow up, what kind of home will they say you had?
Being a responsible parent is also allowing your child to have a relationship with the other parent because, remember, your child wouldn’t be who he is if it weren’t for the both you. Being a responsible parent is engaging in their life while respecting their individuality. Being a responsible parent is loving your children, unconditionally, for who they are and not for whom you would like them to be. Being a responsible parent is knowing what your responsibilities are, both emotionally and financially and even if you only see your children every other weekend, this doesn’t make you a weekend parent.
So, be present for your children, because they are a gift!
Nadia offers child centric coaching to assist with divorce as well as counceling both pre- and post break-up. Visit: https://nadiathonnard.com/
